lost

I'm feeling lost. When these kinds of situations used to happen to me, I used to be able to get through it by talking it over with some friends over a cup of coffee or a piece of cake. But this time, I just can't find the strength to tell anyone. Matter of factly, I don't even know what's wrong!

Been locked up in my room for days now. I fall asleep as soon as I get home, and people who are close to me know that I am the world's biggest insomniac. I've stopped watching my diet, I've lost interest in movies and my tv shows, I've stopped seeing my friends. 

So this is what a mid life crisis feels like. And I hate the way it makes me feel.

I've realized I'm not enjoying what I'm doing anymore. I give so much more than they give me in return. I feel like there's no room for growth. Nor do they appreciate what I do. I can see there's no point in excelling (aside from self gratification) when you don't get what you deserve. All that hoopla about money isn't everything is a load of crap.

I want to travel. I want to migrate. I want to do so many things I can't right now. What's holding me back is myself. I am the alpha and the omega of my own problems.

I'm no longer happy. It's not a pretty place to be. I've got to fix me.